Today I shrunk myself.

I concentrated very hard, and then a bit harder. I fixated on a grain of sand and willed myself to become smaller. And then, it felt as though my skin was bunching like an accordion, my bones creaked and the thinner ringed portions slid into the thicker ringed portions like those old fashioned pocket telescopes. Pretty soon I found myself in a small and dusty crack in between two slats of the hardwood floor.

I tried to speak and my voice was very high pitched. Like the notes in the upper range of Mariah Carey’s Sweet Lover Come Rescue Me.

And then, into the room she came. But she couldn’t see me. Nor could she hear me.

I took little dust mites by their tails and hurled them at her big leather boots. I sent a spray of spit particles hurling upward so that they coated her hem in a fine salivaish mist. I screamed every four letter word I knew. I jumped up and down. I even mooned her.

And I felt better.

Then I looked at that oafish face. And I thought about all the times she had tried to make me feel small. And I realized that I was the bigger woman.