Sunday, November 20, 2005

NOTICE: This is a pure work of fiction. Any likeness to real people or places is coincidental.

Any situation that seems representative of something you experienced is false.

Any emotion that rings true, or feeling you recognize, is a lie.

And if you think that there has been a coincidence, and you think that you can see yourself in here, that too is just your perception. Because you have drawn your own conclusions from what I have written, and you have judged your own experiences through the filter of your mind, and you see patterns where you want to see them.

You might think that there is some thread of truth here. But recognize that this feeling of familiarity has resulted from some often-accessed neural pathway. That pathway was created a long, long time ago when you were learning about what authentic experiences were meant to be.

WARNING: If you find something in here that causes you to feel some emotion that you don’t recognize, you might feel momentarily disoriented or temporarily discomforted.

But fear not.

Because before long you will figure out a way to slot this feeling into one from your rolodex. Take the card out. Examine it. And add this experience as a bullet point under that heading. Place card back in the rolodex. Dust. Place rolodex back on the shelf.

Here, I’ll help you through a simple demonstration:

Assume I write about someone from the fictitious past, who used to be romantically involved with the fictitious central figure in this fictitious story. But he has moved on.

How can this combination of physical stomach chemistry and cardiac circus rhythms be translated into something you can name?

Luckily, thanks to television, movies, and commercials, there is a simple and effective system of nomenclature in place. Start out with subject heading:


Scroll to the next order of specificity:

Severed Relationship.

And then:

He’s moved on.

And there you have your answer:


There, don’t you feel better?

And now that you can name it, it must be real and true.

But if you think that it is real and true, go back to the initial NOTICE.

DISCLAIMER: The author of this fictitious work disclaims any and all liability for any and all damage that may come, howsoever caused, should the reader decide to abandon her rolodex.

The author does not recommend this act.

Take the red pill at your own risk.

Far better, in fact, to remain cozy and warm in this fictitious milieu.


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