Jade is the New Blue

We don’t just get sad anymore. We become jaded.

I think there is a difference.

Those who are sad mourn their current losses, but can imagine an end to their melancholy, whereas those who are jaded are not only unhappy in the present, they become skeptical that the future holds any more promise. In short, jaded people become bitter people.

People are jaded by their job, jaded by the ‘dating scene,’ and jaded by politics.

But who are these jaded people?

You might expect these jaded people are intellectually challenged, unemployed, or full of debilitating acne. Nopers.

One is my attractive young friend who has a great job, good lifestyle, but despite meeting many eligible dudes, she can’t seem to find one she really likes (or at least not for long). Another is a brilliant ex-colleague who has tried out a number of careers, is successful at all of them, but constantly feels miserable in his job due to the nagging suspicion that a far more fulfilling job is out there.

Most people would be green with envy.

Isn’t it strange that the word "Jaded" means the opposite of "Jade." How is it that a beautiful, green, semi-precious stone is related to the word for a state of sad bitterness?

After some fruitless "google" searching, I decided take the old-fashioned route of searching through the Canadian Oxford Dictionary. What I found was quite interesting.

Apparently there are two meanings of the term "jade." The first is the stone. The next is reproduced below:

Jade(2)/dzeid/n.1. an inferior or worn-out horse. 2. Derogatory: a disreputable woman

Okay, so jaded is not related to the stone. I choose not to explore the relationship between these two meanings of Jade(2).

Now, here is the interesting part:

Definition of Jaded:

Jaded/’dzeideit/adj. Tired or worn out; surfeited

Surfeited/v. 1. fill, supply, or feed to excess. 2. Be or cause to be wearied through excess

Whereas we think of jaded people as those who are missing something, the Oxford reveals that jaded people suffer from too much.

It was with this idea in mind that the book "The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less" by Barry Schwartz caught my attention.

The thesis of the book is simple. To a certain extent, having choices liberates us. But past a certain point, options paralyze us and can make us less satisfied with the choices we actually make.

Schwartz illustrates this phenomenon in a number of ways. My favourite example is an experiment that was done with chocolates. One group in the experiment was asked to choose one bonbon from a small box of chocolates. The other group had a much larger variety to choose from. Then each taster was asked to rate their satisfaction with the chocolate they chose.

Almost invariably, the tasters who had had a far smaller selection rated their satisfaction higher.

Schwartz illustrates why it is that too much choice ends up lessening our satisfaction with our education, or relationships, and with our jobs.

One of the main reasons for this phenomenon, he argues, is due to regret. The greater number of options we have, the greater number of things we ‘give up’ once our choice had been made.

So where am I going with all this?

Am I advocating for a new totalitarian Canadian society? Do I think we should all cease personal grooming in order to make ourselves less attractive (and thereby decrease our mate options)?

Maybe.

Schwartz suggests we work at lessening our regret by making irreversible decisions (so we’re not always thinking ‘what if’ and looking back. He also suggests we become aware of sunk costs of our decisions.

Personally, my going-forward strategy is to never make a decision…

Magic 8 ball says: Response hazy, try again.